When I was a kid growing up in Hartlepool, this weekend was always a celebration. Especially with my families connection to Hartlepool Old Boys Rugby Club, I spent many a bank holiday sunday at the Presidents day, in my youth just running about, as a player getting rather drunk.
I always find it funny now on bank holidays, as for years my time would be spent from one bar to the next and my entertainment was where I was drinking the following day. I never wanted to experience anything outside my normal routine and would dismiss events as, “being uncomfortable with people I didn’t know”, or “Being to stupid for your friends” though I would quite happily sit in the company of strangers getting out of my face drunk talking constantly, without any worries. My song “What would you give” is a perfect example of my life and my habits. I think every Sunday night or Bank holiday monday evening after a heavy weekend, I would stand on the back step smoking and say to myself, “Tomorrow I will stop drinking, as I can’t go on like this” and low and behold I would be back in the pub the following day. If someone would mention my drinking heavy I always had an answer to dismiss them, or a reason why I drank. When the plain and simple reason was my inability to confront my demons, I also knew I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own and was too scared to admit it to anyone else. if someone offered me a magic fix it I would have taken it at the drop of a hat. But things are never that easy.
I am now 4 and a half years on from those thoughts and those driving desires to destroy myself and every bank holiday. I tend to celebrate these tiny milestones with quiet contemplation. Yeah right…. I will be playing Live at The Black Bull in Chatburn Lancashire this evening to help put the party back in my bank holidays.
I dont know why this post turned into a ramble about my old ways, but I feel I am a different person now and if one person who reads this is struggling and it helps them evaluate their habits, then I guess it wasn’t wasted.
I hope some of you join me this weekend to sing and tell stories of how I survived, the people who helped me through and the fact that things can be different and you can some out the other side. If I can do it anyone else can and you just have to see me now to know I am not lying!
Happy Bank Holiday… (Drink Responsibly!)
ps: the last bit was a joke get shit faced for all I care!