I say it every year as I welcome in the New Year, this year is no different, I stood on my driveway at midnight with my uncle and promised that this year was going to be the best yet, But if I am honest the last five have been pretty great for me. This year I am five years sober, I don’t know why but I am incredibly proud of this year. I feel like celebrating it, where in the past this time of year filled me with dread. I will always get pangs of guilt at the person I was and what I had done, this is an unfortunate side effect of sobriety. I don’t blame alcohol, as alcohol can be a very nice distraction from modern life and millions of people can take a drink and not let the drink take them.
I have changed as a person more so over the past five years than I remember. I was always the last person standing or would drink till I passed out, its not a badge I ever wore quietly and I shudder to think of the antics I got up to through my love of booze. I had to say goodbye to that person as I couldn’t be him and still be sane, plus I wouldn’t have lasted five years that is for sure.
I used to come home to Hartlepool and would be like a cat on hot bricks waiting to get to the pub, if I didn’t get there I was like a spoilt child and I constantly lied and made excuses but the only person who I fooled was me. Like I said, I get embarrassed just thinking of it, I must have been a horrible bloke to live with. I have put that person to bed and now I value time with my nephew Josh over anyone in a pub. I love nothing more than staying in my studio making music or spending time with my wife and its this that has got better year on year.
Why am I telling you this I hear you cry, well I am five years sober and I am loving every minute, if you are in that first throws of sobriety you may be thinking you will never get here, you may feel you have nothing to live for and you may feel like just getting to a week is difficult. I did in those first few days, I would physically ache for what I had lost, now five years years on I am planning my tour schedule , I have written scores for Feature films, I have produced industry disks for music conferences, I have released singles and made an album with one of my musical heroes.
This year will be a celebration and I hope you will join me in making it the best one ever, I am planning a UK and US tour that will start in March in Hartlepool and end in Portland Oregon in September, I am also working with the amazingly talented Sara Creeney, a superb vocalist and lovely lady, she will join me on my tour and we will be also recording material for the tour and for digital release.
If you are reading this and you have just made the decision to confront your demons, believe me you can get through anything now, once you realise that life carry’s on far better without drink than with it, you will also think wonder if you will meet a person who doesn’t throw a cliche at you, but lets face to get to be a cliche you have to have some grounding in reality. You will also have those first days to get through when you think that everything is closing in around you. If so get in touch with me here and I will be happy to lend an ear or just kill some time. This song I wrote after three months sober and it was where I was headed, have a listen, cause you don’t have to be one…….
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